Forgiveness is Freedom

The best definition of forgiveness I have found is "to cancel a debt." That's what Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross did. It cancelled the debt we all owe but can't pay. Because we have all fallen short of God's perfect standard, therefore sinning against Him, we incurred a debt. That debt caused a chasm that separates us from God. What Jesus did was (to a much lesser extent) like someone coming along and writing a check to pay off your mortgage. You didn't have to work to earn money to pay it off and you didn't do anything to deserve or earn His favor of paying it off. Yet paid off it is! In the same way, it is by His grace we are saved. You didn't ask Him to do it. You could never have earned it. The Bible says that "while we were still sinners Christ died for us." The debt is paid. It is finished. All we have to do is believe that it really was and accept the gift of being made right with God through Jesus' sacrifice of His life. Jesus is the only way back to God because His sacrifice is the only way that chasm could be closed. Jesus is the bridge that gives us access to God through the forgiveness (the canceling) of our sin (our debt).

In the same way, it is only through Jesus's power inside of us that we will ever be able to forgive others for things they have done to hurt us (debts they owe). Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Jesus Himself says it like this in Matthew 6:14-15, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Yikes! I know, sounds harsh, huh? I really struggled with what Jesus said until He began to show me what unforgiveness does to the one who won't forgive. It puts them in bondage. They can't escape the pain and hurt that the debt caused. They will forever be crippled by what happened to them. Crippled by anger, mistrust, bitterness, and fear. They will not be able to fully love or accept love as long as they are holding on to that debt insisting it be paid. And the thing is that it can never be fully paid off by the offender. Whatever they do to make up for what they did will never be enough. Think back over a wrong someone did to you and then apologized for. Was it enough? Did sorry fix it? Or did you still have to make the decision to release that person from having to pay for what they did? I am willing to bet that sorry wasn't enough and that if it was truly dealt with you had to decide to forgive. Forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you! I'm convinced that is why Jesus is so stern in His words about forgiveness. He came to set us free, and unforgiveness will only put us back in bondage.

The thing about truly forgiving though, is that the only part we can do is make the decision to do it. The work of forgiveness is the Lord's. It is His grace and power that truly cancel the debt. What I mean is this: you won't ever be able to forgive and forget just like that. Forgiveness is a process. I believe it is one that is impossible in our humanness apart from Christ. It is a work of the Holy Spirit. It's a decision we may have to make over and over while He working it out in our heart.

This is true in big and little offenses in our every day lives. For big things it may take longer and like I said you may have to pray something like this every day until the sting of the offense is gone. That's how you know, by the way, that forgiveness has taken place in your heart. You won't actually forget, but It doesn't hurt anymore. The edge is gone. Pray, "Lord, I choose to forgive them, now please come and do the work and heal my heart." I have had situations where I had to pray a prayer like this THOUSANDS of times before I was totally healed of the hurt, pain, anger, and mistrust the offense had caused. But healed I was! I have heard people say so many times of a woman hurt by an unfaithful husband that she will never be the same. In God's hands that may be true, but not in the way they mean it. When you give it over to God through letting go of it yourself (the process of forgiving) God will use it FOR YOUR GOOD like He promises in Romans 8:28. He does miracles in horrible situations. A woman hurt by adultery can absolutely be free from all pain and hurt. She can love and trust again! Nothing is impossible for God to use and change and make new. We serve an awesome, powerful, loving God! Trust Him with all your hurts! Nothing is too big for Him! And be aware that nothing is too little to cause bitterness over time. Be quick to forgive little offenses. Don't hold on to anything but God!