My Story

My story is not very interesting or exciting except for what the Lord has done. Your story probably has much more drama, comedy, and tragedy than mine. But it's all that I know. It's my experience. It colors everything I will ever know and ever be. So, I set the stage by sharing it with you.

I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma. I had a quiet childhood. Boring would be a better word to describe it really. I was raised by parents who loved me, my brother, and two sisters but had trouble loving each other. After my dad, who had been raised Catholic and went on to test the waters of new age thought became a Christian, we began going to a Bible believing church. From my earliest memories I was aware of God's presence. I knew He was real and I believed what the Bible said about Him, even when I didn't live like it. Seeds of Truth were planted in my heart during that time. I loved learning about Jesus and hearing the stories in the Bible.

At eight years old I decided that I wanted Jesus in my heart so I walked down the aisle to give my life to the Lord and was baptized with my dad. Although I know I meant it as much as was possible for an eight year old, I strayed far from the Truth in my teenage years. Just before my parents' marriage fell apart, I began caving to peer pressure and doing things I knew were wrong to be accepted. I've always been a people-pleaser and I can honestly say I wanted to be loved and accepted so badly that I turned from what I knew to be right and went wrong. I went down this road from the young age of 13 until I was 17. During those years I was thoroughly saturated in what the world had to offer. In all the "fun" I was having, I could not shake the emptiness that would creep into my soul anytime the music was silenced and my friends went home.

The summer before my senior year in high school my mom and step-dad moved to a bigger town and took me with them. At my new school I made new friends that were a new kind of fun. They loved the Lord and they loved me. They never passed judgement on me even when I tried to get them to. They truly accepted me as I was. They showed me the unconditional love of Christ in a way I had never experienced before.

Through their love God began to knock on my heart's door again. I could feel Him whispering my name, calling me to return to Him. I started going to church with my dad and each Sunday His voice became louder and louder and my need for Him became more and more achingly obvious. He opened my eyes to the sin and brokenness in my life. I was hurting. I was hurting because of all that I had done. I was hurting because of my parent's divorce and the breakup of my family. I needed someone to lift my out of the pit that I had gotten stuck in. I needed someone to make me clean again. I needed to be freed from the lies I had believed about myself and what I had to do to be loved. It all climaxed one Sunday when the ache in my heart grew so strong that I couldn't fight it any longer. I surrendered my life to Jesus that day. He lifted me out of that pit, cleansed me in His precious blood, broke me out of the prison of lies I had lived in, and filled me up with His love and His presence in my heart. I have never been the same.

It is amazing to me that the Creator of the universe would care about me, about any of us. But He does. So much so, that He left His Kingdom behind, put on the flesh of His creation, and came to earth as a servant and a sacrifice for us. He rescued us. He did what we could never do. And all because He wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to walk together as He walked with Adam in the Garden of Eden. He wants to heal our hurts and ease our pain. We could never comprehend His greatness or the cost of our salvation. But I stand before you now, and tell you with all my heart that it is true. Everything His Word says that He does in the life of a person who believes is true. I am living proof of that.

I have now been walking with the Lord for 12 years. My life hasn't been perfect, far from it actually. It hasn't been easy. Storms still come from time to time. But when you walk with the Lord, there are rainbows in the storm. Not only AFTER the storm, but IN the storm. Only God can take the painful experiences of our lives and use them like sand in a oyster's shell to make something of beauty and worth far beyond anything we could hope or imagine....a pearl! He's given me a few!

I am just a normal, American woman trying to handle all the demands of life. I have been married for 10 years. I have 2 kids. I have juggled marriage, babies, college, work, and running a home like most women do these days. I try to stay sexy to my husband, loving to my children, obedient to my God, and true to myself. Some days it feels like I'm one of those people balancing spinning plates on thin sticks trying not to let the plates stop or the sticks drop!

Although my life is full, I can't escape the feeling that there has to be more than this. I know there is. The Bible says that God has a plan for each of us, good that He has for each of us to do. I want to do that good. I want to live according to God's plan for my life. I once read that the greatest place of satisfaction in our lives will be found where our passion meets the needs of the world. I believe that. God has specifically designed each of us uniquely with exactly the personality, mind, emotions, and experiences that will equip us to fulfill the plans He has for us.

I have a passion for the Bible. In fact, I'm going back to school this fall to study it formally. I also have a passion to help others apply God's Truth, found in the Bible, to their lives. There is no other source of answers for our problems and hope for our futures then God's Word. I believe that with all my heart. I hope to join Him in the healing of people's lives by becoming a counselor. I want to comfort others with the same comfort I have been given. I guess in a way this blog is the informal start to that. I hope that by sharing my experiences, you will gain understanding of His Word, His plan for your life, find comfort and hope, and be encouraged!